if love is a game, these are the rules

last post on this book! cheers :)

chapter 9 - renewal is the key to longevity. there is a small section in this chapter on repairing broken trust:

"if it was you who betrayed your partner's trust, it will also be you who will bear the burden of earning back that trust. your partner will need to work toward forgiveness, but you will be the one whose actions determine whether your relationship is regenerated or destroyed"

yikes, so i guess the first thing to do here is to not betray someone's trust.

if it does happen the book also states that, "there is no damage that cannot be repaired if both partners are willing...to reopen their hearts to each other"

i just don't want to be the one asking someone to reopen their heart and try to trust me again. so again don't betray someone's trust.

moving on to a different way to a long successful relationship is to celebrate.

the book states first off that a wedding ceremony, aside from the obvious purposes, creates a marker in your relationship. that day is when you chose to unite. each subsequent anniversary should take you back to think on your reasons for getting married and to celebrate!

celebrate the small things...inside jokes, small rituals, the small things in your life and with your relationship.

chapter 10 - you will forget all this the moment you fall in love (oh great)

"you will need to keep some semblance of rational behavior to protect yourself from any potential, damage, be it physical or emotional. you alone are responsible for your own heart and boy, and you will need your head at times to guide you to ensure your overall best interest"

the statement is a little bit sobering but there's truth to it, "love lures us out of reality and into the realm of fantasy. it acts like a drug creating an altered state of consciousness"

as you do enter a relationship please make sure that you don't lose yourself in 'we'.

"within the context of a 'we' reality, requires you to remember what it is that makes you uniquely you"

so my verdict for if love is a game, these are the rules definitely something that should be read if you have issues getting into or maintaining a relationship.

the book helped me to think on what kind of significant other i'm looking for and personal issues/habits/etc that hurt me in relationships...example: i'm timid about confrontation (communication problems), low self esteem (the book really buys in on love yourself and others will love you), i need to learn how to say what i want (flexing the 'want' muscle :)

next relationship self help book? five love languages

p.s.

if love is a game, these are the rules - posts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

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